Ani Ram went from serial-dater to home-maker in less time..
I came home and noticed there was a box outside the front door. I was pretty sure that it couldn’t have been anything for me, so I left it for my husband.
My husband came home, saw the box, brought it inside and began to open it with much joy. “Hmm” I thought, “what’s in the box?” I also thought, “maybe he got me a present?”
So he opens the box and pulls out another box. I try to look busy and not pay too much attention so that I can be fully surprised in case there might be a present in there for me.
Just as I’m expecting to hear a big “Surprise!!!” he takes the inner box and goes upstairs. I follow. I watch him take the contents of the inner box out and realize that it’s a toothbrush. An electric toothbrush.
We each have our own electric toothbrushs, same brand, same everything. We don’t have the fanciest of toothbrushes, but they get the job done better than the less fancier ones.
Well, my husband decided that it was time to replace his toothbrush and so he ordered himself a new one. A new one to replace the old one. No big deal. That is until I noticed that he upgraded to a much nicer, much fancier toothbrush. The kind that made mine look so last decade, at least.
Super excited about his new present, he unwrapped all the contents, and threw the old toothbrush into the garbage with pride.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Oh, just got myself a new toothbrush” he answered.
My immediate reaction was “where is my new toothbrush?” But I decided to let this one go. It was just a toothbrush. Whatever. I really did try to not let his new toothbrush have any power over me.
Well, I couldn’t help myself. Every time I went into the bathroom, I had to stare at his brand new, fancy, shiny, 21st century, advanced oral care brush with a whitening option. I couldn’t help but compare it to my old-fashioned, 20th century-looking, motor brush, that I realized at that moment I’d hated all along.
My following reaction was “WHERE IS MY NEW TOOTHBRUSH?”
And so it started…
-
“How come you didn’t get me a replacement toothbrush?”
“I didn’t know you needed a new one.”
“You didn’t know because you didn’t ask.”
“How was I supposed to know that you needed yours replaced?”
“Well if you needed yours replaced then why wouldn’t I need mine replaced?”
“Do you need a new toothbrush? I will order one for you, too”
“Too late now, you should’ve asked me before. That’s what you should’ve done!”
“So I’m asking you now. What kind of toothbrush would you like?”
“One that is nicer than yours!”
The moral of this story? First you date guys who do the kinds of things you can never understand. Then you marry the best one and he too does things you can never understand.
Looking back, I realize that the issue was caused by the differences between the male and the female perspectives on… well, pretty much everything.
The man decided he needed a new toothbrush, so he got himself one. The woman could never understand this pattern of action because she would never have replaced her toothbrush without asking her husband if he needed his replaced too. So this made her feel left out and unimportant.
That’s the beauty of married life. It’s like going to a never ending school where you major in marriage. Each day is a lesson. And each year is a new class. Except there are no grades in this school. All the classes are pass/fail.
Tags: arguing, compromise, learning, living together, love, marriage, men, misunderstanding, understanding, women
This entry was posted on Monday, August 3rd, 2009 at 4:41 am and is filed under About me, First you date that guy and then you marry him. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
i want a fancy toothbrush, too!
I know where this guy’s coming from. Men are functional animals by nature. We’re also resourceful and independent. Some men “get it,” and naturally take on the caring role for their women and family, while others have to learn it over and over again.
My only advice is not to play the victim by saying “why didn’t you think of me?” You’ll only put him on the defensive, and that will get in the way of open communication. Just tell him that you want to be included next time he buys something that you both use (like a toothbrush). Eventually, he’ll begin to understand that you are both on the same team. Meanwhile, try not to take it personally.
OMG, this is exactly what goes on in our house… but it could be as simple as walking in the door with a can of diet coke that has two swallows in it and he wants to know where his coke is… totally funny
dude! we still need advice! maybe more now than ever
so, come back!
(please, lol)