Hey Ladies,

I have a question for all of you!

Has your man gotten so comfortable in your relationship that he has lost his ability to get off the couch?

If you answer “no,” then there just might be something seriously wrong with your man. If you answer “yes,” then consider yourself lucky. Why? Because this means that your man is normal and is no different from 99% of the men out there.

Don’t get bummed out if your man used to be more adventurous or if he used to be more motivated by planning activities for the two of you.
 There is only one motivational factor for men, and it is SEX. Once sex is taken for granted, all motivation goes out the window.

At the beginning of a relationship, a man tries his hardest to impress a woman in hopes that if he succeeds, that will result in sex. He will go to great lengths to increase the probability that his efforts will result in pleasure. As your relationship progresses, he realizes that he doesn’t have to make an extra effort to get extra pleasure.

There are several ways for a woman to approach this. She must realize that the fact that the man is getting comfortable in the relationship is not a bad thing. It means that he is happy and satisfied both with his life and with his relationship. The woman should not have unreasonable expectations of the man and should accept that he needs proper “off” time to refuel his energy and interest. Finally, she must be open to trying new ways of motivating him once the good ol’ fashioned sex trick no longer tricks.

Here are a few tips to keep the pot steaming without boiling over:

-Remind him of the things he used to do for you or that you used to do together that you miss.

-Think of what you want from your man and then tell him how much you would appreciate it if he did that for you.

-Use the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” method. Tell him that if he takes some time to “X” then you will do “Y” in return. Pick something that you know he’ll go crazy over.

-Take initiative, make plans for the both of you, and let him come along for the ride. As long as he’s there, then he’s participating.

So, you see, there are plenty of ways that you can get your man to start being active again. Of course, if you’ve exhausted all methods and feel that he is still uninterested in putting any effort into your relationship, then there are much more serious issues going on.

All I can say is don’t confuse his getting comfortable with his getting uncomfortable.