Ani Ram went from serial-dater to home-maker in less time..
Can men and women just be friends? There’s a reason this is such a popular question. I think the obvious answer is “no,” and the only people that ask this question are those that are looking for excuses to justify their true feelings towards someone of the opposite sex.
To be friends, a man and a woman would need to share genuine love and care for each other without any feelings of attraction. Love and care happen to be two of the three most important components of a relationship (the third being attraction). It’s so easy to fall for a friend when you already have most of the feelings towards that person that you would for a boyfriend/ girlfriend. All that’s missing is attraction. Attraction, however, is much more important for men than it is for women.
For men, attraction is something they either do or do not feel from the start, and it manifests itself in the desire for sex. Because men’s desire for sex is so strong, it’s not that hard for a man to feel attracted to a number of women. There you have the third most important component of a relationship – attraction. What about the first and the second, love and care? The man grows to love and care for the woman for whom he feels a lot of attraction.
For women, attraction is something that builds over time. It builds much faster when they already have strong feelings of love and care for someone. For example, a woman might meet someone to whom she is immediately attracted, but a relationship will never build from there because she might feel completely incompatible and incapable of loving that person. Attraction is not enough for a woman.
In a situation where a man and a woman are friends, the woman becomes more and more attracted to the man because of her feelings of love and care towards that man. The more her feelings of attraction grow, the more she feels for her friend. At the same time, the man is already feeling a strong desire for sex. The stronger his desire for sex, the more attraction he feels for his friend. Seems likely that the friendship line will be crossed. As long as one of the people has feeling for the other, then it’s probably not a true friendship anyway.
I say go ahead, cross the line, and get it over with. Isn’t that what you’ve been wondering about this whole time anyway?
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 22nd, 2009 at 6:59 pm and is filed under Men and women can't be friends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
da best. Keep it going! Thank you
Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting.
Hi,
As a bit of a serial dater myself, I have to respectfully disagree. I feel that if there is no attraction on the behalf of at least one of the party, there is a potential for genuine friendship. This can take a number of forms. For example, if a man finds someone he understand, and understands him, yet has a very undesirable trait ( like promiscuity) then there is a possibility of simple friendship.
Maybe there remains attraction on the behalf of one party or the other, but over time that can fade, again in my opinion, into genuine caring.
Some of us even don’t realize the importance of this information. What a pity.
Hello, can you please post some more information on this topic? I would like to read more.
I totally disagree with the premise of this blog! While the conceptual info about love and trust is absolutely true, I think it’s ridiculous to think that a man and a woman simply cannot be “just friends.” I live with two guys, and both are in relationships of their own. As far as physical attraction goes, while I can appreciate certain things about each of them, I have no desire to pursue relationships with them (and vice versa). And I can say with absolute certainty that we ARE friends. I have had a lot of guy friends, some who I have been attracted to, and many I have not. Some have been attracted to me, and some haven’t. Most of them are in committed relationships, and every single one of them is my friend.
In any case, I think there are plenty of relationship dynamics that can lead to a friendship situation. Perhaps it’s just not as common as I thought…
After reading these blogs I have to say this for your own good. Your a fucking psycho, seek professional help asap.
Not all men are looking for sex and not all women are looking for love. Stop stereotyping people and grow up.