Ani Ram went from serial-dater to home-maker in less time..
There’s a ton of relationship advice out there. From books, to radio, to TV, to the internet, relationship experts are giving advice on how to improve your relationship and impress your mate. So you spend months or years bending over backwards to make sure you are the perfect partner. It’s no wonder it is hard to get over your mate once a relationship comes to a bust.
I always hear people say “relationships end for a reason” but I never hear anyone talk about what that “reason” is. This is because people try to be ideological in their reasoning, as if to say “it’s for the best” or “it wasn’t meant to be” instead of being realistic.
A relationship is a partnership and presupposes that both partners have mutual interest in each other and their relationship. The reality of why most relationships fail is because at least one of people involved loses interest in the other. Once someone loses interest in their partner it’s pretty close to impossible to get that interest back.
If you ask a sample of people how they feel about their last relationship, about half of them will say something like “it was great at first but then I realized that he/she was not right for me”. This is an example of partners who lost interest. The other half will say “it was so hard letting go” or “we were so in love” or “if we gave it another chance we could made it work”. This is an example of partners who never lost interest. They would love to take another shot at a relationship with their ex. What they don’t realize is that their feelings aren’t mutual, and that, perhaps, if their feelings were mutual then the relationship would never have ended.
If a relationship does not succeed, basic logic tells you that at least one of the partners lost interest. If you are thinking about your ex and hoping that there is still chance for a future with that person, then you haven’t made the first step in getting over that person.
To get over someone you have to let go of all the hopes and dreams that you had for the future you imagined with that person. The first step at being able to do that is to understand that if you are still thinking about your ex, then he/she is not thinking about you. If they felt just as strongly about your future together and believed that it was possible, then you would still be together. This might not be the ideological answer but it’s the reality.
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 5:34 pm and is filed under If you are thinking about your ex, your ex is not thinking about you. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
i agree! it can be hard to make the mental break, but it gets easier after time