Ani Ram went from serial-dater to home-maker in less time..
Valentine’s day is just around the corner. Commercials and advertisements are on perpetual re-run, on every media channel, telling men to “buy her this,” “send her that,” “indulge her with this,” and “surprise her with that.” With the multitude of programs out there to help men prepare for this holiday, and be ready to surprise her with some sort of gift on hand, I can’t help but notice so many women around me wondering, asking each other, and scrounging for ideas about, what to get HIM this Valentine’s Day.
There is a huge difference between men and women in this respect. Women love surprises, they love receiving gifts, and they all uniformly agree that the greater the surprise and the more gifts they receive, the better. We don’t always ask for much, or feel that it’s practical for a man to dish out tons of money on presents for every occasion, but yet we never stop him either. It is not in a woman’s nature to not want presents. How could we ever say no? Likewise, we automatically assume that men love gifts just as much. BIG mistake. HUGE.
From a woman’s perspective, it is very hard to imagine that there is anyone out there who doesn’t like presents. Love of presents is such a natural feeling that it just makes no sense otherwise. Receiving gifts from a man is a sign of how much he cares about you and thinks about you, how well he knows you, and how serious he is about you. Therefore, women feel that one way to send him the same signals is through buying him nice gifts. BIG mistake. HUGE.
Men are very different from women. Men do not love receiving presents the way women do. More importantly, they never expect to get showered with gifts and they don’t feel disappointed if they don’t. Let me say this again. They never expect to get showered with gifts and they don’t feel disappointed if they don’t. Stop fantasizing about all the goodies you are going to buy him this Valentine’s Day.
From a man’s perspective, receiving too many gifts from his woman is a sign that she expects the same level of gift-giving from him. He should know that you have high expectations but asking for nice gifts is not how you get that across. Also, gifts from a woman are a sign of how needy she is and how serious she thinks the relationship is. This can sometimes scare a man off, especially if he doesn’t feel as serious about the relationship. Men love mystery. If you shower him with gifts, it shows him that you are trying too hard to impress him. This is a sign of neediness, so don’t overdo it. Especially, if this is your first Valentine’s Day.
Let’s face it, women are way better at shopping for presents. They are way better at shopping and are more creative when it comes to gift ideas. All they have to do is ask themselves what they would want and 20 different ideas will pop in their heads all at once. Therefore, it is very easy to outdo him at his presents. This is the last thing you want, and it is a very easy thing to do. He might give you flowers with a pink bear from the local drugstore and this might be his best effort. Show him that you appreciate it and reciprocate with a kiss. If, in return, you give him chocolate, clothes, concert tickets, and a magazine subscription, it will be the perfect way to show him that what he did was minor and insignificant. And while you wait for him to show you his excitement and happiness, he will be feeling bad, thinking about how committed you are to him, and wondering if you are too needy for him.
So ladies, lose your wallets this Valentine’s Day! If you still really want to get him something, keep it small. A box of his favorite chocolate would do the trick. If he has expensive taste in chocolate, take it down a notch. You get the idea.
This entry was posted on Thursday, February 12th, 2009 at 5:16 pm and is filed under Your man does not need to be showered with gifts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
phew! not that i was gonna go buy anything (or that i have anyone to buy it for lol) but this is reassuring.
i’m so bad about wanting to give, give, give because i like giving, but that does send the wrong idea…
you should teach seminars or something or hold a relationship bootcamp, lol
Great post. You have been tagged, you can find details on my site.
I didn’t even plan on getting anything for Ryan! Although, I did THANK him in a good way….
Nice bloggage Aniram, keep up the good work.