Ani Ram went from serial-dater to home-maker in less time..
This secret applies to many facets of life… including your relationship!
One way to get your man to help you or to do what you want is to flatter him and shower him with compliments. This gives him confidence and makes him feel like he can do anything. Many women tend to put their men down in an effort to get them to do something. This simply doesn’t work. The secret lies in your delivery.
What NOT to do:
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1. You want your man to do the dishes. You tell him “Why don’t you ever do the dishes?” or “You never do the dishes!”
2. You want your man to call more often. You tell him “You don’t call me enough” or “You never call me. I always call you!”
3. You want your man to bring you flowers. You tell him “How come I never get flowers from you?” or “Why don’t you ever get me flowers?”
You get the point.
The problem with pointing out what not to do is that it reinforces the wrong message. Re-read all of those statements out loud. Listen to yourself as you read them. They all give one message: You don’t, you don’t, you don’t. Nowhere does it say anything about what he does do or what you want him to do. You may have thought that it was implicit but it’s not.
Putting a man down only frustrates and confuses him. If he doesn’t know what you want from him he’s not going to try and figure it out. He will simply back away until you can clearly explain yourself. It’s when a woman can’t explain herself that a fight emerges.
A very simple way to fix this is to get over yourself. Get over thinking that you shouldn’t have to spell everything out and that your man should already know what you want. MEN DON’T KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT! You might be thinking that you already told him something once before (maybe 8 months ago) so he should know forever. MEN DON’T REMEMBER EVERY DETAIL ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT WOMEN SAY! Men need repetition and encouragement.
What to do:
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1. You want your man to do the dishes. You tell him “Honey, please do the dishes tonight. It would be such great help! I love when you help me!”
2. You want your man to call more often. You tell him “Please call me tonight” or “Please call me when you are done doing [something].”
3. You want your man to bring you flowers. You tell him “Honey, I want flowers for [occasion]” or “I would love it if you got me flowers for my [occasion].” Don’t be above it. If you want flowers then ask for them!
You get the point.
If you want to get any man to do something for you then you have to tell him. Keep telling him what to do until it becomes a habit and then he will do it on his own. Men are creatures of habit. So don’t think that if you tell him once that it’s going to be ingrained in his brain forever!
Also, men love to be complimented. Who doesn’t, right? Go ahead and flatter him a little bit. Tell him how much better he is at doing something than you are or how much quicker he would get it done.
As always, I encourage you to try out these techniques! So get off your high horse and ask for what you want. You will see that it’s much better to ask and receive than to never receive at all!
This entry was posted on Monday, January 26th, 2009 at 2:08 pm and is filed under Flattery will get you everywhere. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
This is a blog woman and men should visit more often. Great blog.
good advice. it’s hard to change though. y is dating so hard!??