Ani Ram went from serial-dater to home-maker in less time..
Does he like me? Is he going to call tonight? When will we hang out next? Did I do something wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t have said that? What is he doing this weekend? Is he with someone else?
We’ve all asked ourselves these stupid fucking questions (SFQ). We’ve all sat around for hours stressing over all the possible answers. Here is what I think about that: STOP! STOP! STOP!
Stop asking yourself questions that you can’t answer. Stop stressing about the possibilities of some guy’s next move. Stop wondering. Stop analyzing. Stop crying.
Of course, I know, it’s not easy. But here are a few basic relationship rules that should help alleviate useless stress:
-
If you think he doesn’t like you then he doesn’t like you!
If you think he doesn’t want to see you then he doesn’t want to see you!
If you think think he’s cheating then he’s cheating!
and finally..
If you don’t think he’s going to call tonight then go about your business and stop waiting for the phone to ring!
Ultimately, women are all searching for ‘the right man’. The first step to finding one is defining what ‘the right man’ really means.
-
The right man is one with whom you are completely compatible.
The right man is one who feels about you the way you feel about him.
The right man is one who wants the same thing for his future that you want for yours.
The right man will want the same thing out of your relationship that you do.
The right man is one who gives you enough reinforcement so that you trust his intentions.
The right man will want to see you as much as you want to see him.
The right man will give you the level of communication that you need.
and finally…
The right man doesn’t leave you asking SFQ.
Whether he likes you or not is irrelevant if the answer is not clear. Whether he wants to see you again is irrelevant if it’s not completely obvious. All you need to be concerned with is that if you are asking then the answer is no- no and move on! Besides, don’t you want to not have to ask SFQ anymore? Don’t you want to stop wondering if he’s going to call? If so, then stop wondering. Keep meeting new men until you find one that doesn’t leave you guessing.
It’s that simple, ladies. If you are trying to find ‘the right man’ then don’t waste too much time on the wrong ones. Focus on findng a man who will give you what you want. If you are with a man who is not giving you what you want then just move on. Stop trying to figure out why he’s acting a certain way, what he’s thinking, if he’s interested, and if he’ll change. If you’re wondering if he’s interested then he is not interested.
This is not to say that you should give up after the first date. But if you have gone on two dates and then you don’t hear from him for a week even after you call and leave a message then that’s a bad sign. If all you get is a phone call but no plans for a 3rd date then that’s a bad sign. If all you get are text messages but no phone calls then that’s a bad sign. If you only get phone calls but they are always after 10pm then that’s a bad sign.
You should always be watching for bad signs and as soon as you find yourself stressing, worrying, wondering, and asking SFQ then that is your cue to look for another.
This entry was posted on Thursday, January 15th, 2009 at 2:24 pm and is filed under If you think he doesn't like you then he doesn't like you. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
great post! reminds me of the book ‘He’s Just Not That Into You”
how come we get sucked in to asking SFQ’s and wasting time so easily?? realistic expectations and non-attachment are so simple yet so hard to practice! i’m getting it though!